____
A S H L I N G
His office smelled faintly of his cologne and it was absolutely fucking suffocating.
He stopped behind his desk, hands in his pockets, his gaze sliding to me.
"Sit,"
"I'm fine where I am." I said. His expression shifted into something intense... like he was trying to breathe me in.
"Ash," he called out gently. "Just sit, please."
When I didn't move, he sighed and closed the distance, coming around the desk.
He pulled the chair out, and his hand reached for my wrist.
I slapped it away.
His eyes dropped to where I'd hit him, then back up to mine, and I saw the flicker of sadness in his eyes before he buried it behind that stone-cold face.
I sat, crossing my arms, staring at the huge glass wall overlooking the skyscrapers of London.
He sat across from me, leaning forward, his fingers laced together. "What do you want?" I asked, already wanting to get out of here.
"I wanted to see you."
"Congratulations. You've seen me. Can I go now?"
His expression darkened.
"I want you to lead the launch."
"What?"
"We're really close to launching our new product, I want you to be the one who presents it." He leaned back.
My brows shot up.
Was this another game he was trying to play with me?
"I'm a photographer, not a spokesperson."
"You're also the manager who handles all my meetings. I'm pretty sure you'll do a great job presenting this, too." He smiled.
I wanted to wipe that annoying smile right off his face.
"I appreciate the offer, but the answer is no."
The smile on his face faded.
"Is it cause of me, Ash?"
I snapped my eyes to him. "Not everything is about you, and I refused because I just don't want to do it. You can find someone else who'll do a better job than me. Thank you." I stood, the chair scraping back across the floor.
"And my name is Ashling. I would appreciate it if you called me by my name."
"If that's the case..." He stood, hands in his pockets, and walked around to me. "Then call me by my name too."
I froze.
"Just once." he whispered.
My fingers curled into my palms.
"Five years... For five years, you haven't said my name. I ache to hear it from your lips."
I turned my head away and shut my eyes for a few seconds.
I refused to say his name, and a part of me knew it would hurt too much to let it leave my mouth.
The other part... wanted him to feel exactly what I had been feeling all these years.
Yet... this was nothing compared to what he had made me go through.
"I'll take my leave." I said, turning and walking away, ignoring the growing ache inside me.
"Haven't I done enough for you to hate me a little less?"
I stopped in my tracks.
"Can't you...can't you forgive me?" His voice wavered.
I almost let out a laugh.
Forgive him? The absolute fucking nerve to even ask me that.
I turned around and faced him, anger burning across my face. "Forgive you? There isn't a goddamn thing you could do to make that happen."
His eyes betrayed him, like something inside him was breaking.
Forgiving him would mean stepping back into the fire that already burned me once, and if I get burned again, there won't be anything left of me to save.
"Do you hate me that much?" he asked, his voice breaking.
"Hate?" I let out a bitter laugh. "What I feel for you goes far beyond hate."
He inhaled a shaky breath, like he was struggling to breathe.
Something twisted in my chest. I turned to leave, but he had moved fast, his hand catching mine.
The touch made my skin burn.
I pulled back instinctively, like he'd pressed a match to my skin.
The look on his face destroyed something in me that I didn't want to admit was still alive.
He swallowed hard, stepped back, and ran a hand through his hair like he was trying to pull himself together.
"Just—sit down, okay? We can talk about the photoshoot."
"You can talk to Alice about it. My shift's over."
"Ash... please don't walk away from me." His voice cracked with desperation.
The man standing in front of me had shattered everything between us.
I had trusted him with parts of myself I had never given to anyone, and he crushed it without a second thought.
Seeing him every day as my boss was already torture.
"Look, you're my boss, and I'd appreciate it if we kept this professional. I've already moved on. You should, too."
He flinched, and my hand tightened around the corner of my blazer.
"I don't need to reopen wounds I've already learned to live with. You should try doing the same."
His jaw ticked.
"You're really not good at lying, sweetheart."
He stepped forward, and I quickly took a step back.
"I could never move on from you, Ashling. It's completely impossible, but you..." He faintly smiled, though it looked more like a cocky one.
"I won't never let you move on from me."
The nerve of this fucking bastard.
I tried to suppress my anger, meeting his eyes as hatred burned through me.
This was all a facade, just some guilt he was carrying, and I knew that well because he was my ex-boyfriend.
_____
"God, she's such a bitch." Trixie muttered, tossing a chip in her mouth.
"You should've filmed it." June said now, swirling the ice in her glass. "I'd pay good money to see Cindy's reaction. How the hell is she still getting contracts? She's total chaos. "
Trixie snorted. "She's lucky her daddy bankrolls half those campaigns. She has the looks but lacks talent. God, it took me years before they finally gave me a chance to get my first modelling job. Parker's drowning in luck... the bitch doesn't even see it."
We were at a bar, sitting around a small table cluttered with drinks and half-finished food.
June and Trixie were my close friends. They were the ones who helped pick up the pieces after Theon destroyed our relationship.
"What's up with you?" June nudged my arm; her brows raised over the rim of her glass.
"Don't tell me you actually felt bad for that brat."
I rolled my eyes, leaned over, and stole a chip off her plate. She shot me a death glare.
"Please." I said, taking a bite. "Why the hell would I feel bad for her?"
June tilted her head, studying me. "Then what's with the face? You look like someone kicked your puppy... or your ex tex—"
Her voice faltered, the last word barely making it out. Realization flickered across her face.
She went quiet, her eyes widening before she grabbed her glass and took a long gulp.
I raised a brow.
She swallowed hard, still watching me over the rim. "Something happened between you and Theon, right?"
"Why do you look so damn excited?" Jesus, what is wrong with this girl?
"I'm not," she grinned widely. "But I'm right, aren't I?"
I sighed and took a sip of my drink. "Don't even get me started."
"Please do," June said, already leaning in.
I stared at her, brows furrowed, mouth half open, like she'd grown two heads. Before I could say anything, Trixie smacked the back of her head. "Ow! What the hell?" June rubbed the spot, glaring at her. I tried not to laugh, biting the inside of my cheek.
"Are you okay, Ash?" Trixie asked, her expression softening.
"Yeah, I'm alright, Trix. Just the same old usual."
"Gotta hand it to him though," June muttered, her fist resting under her chin.
"The man's been grovelling for years and hasn't quit once. I'm almost starting to feel bad for him."
I rolled my eyes. "That's not grovelling, it's called feeling guilty."
"True, but what kind of guy keeps chasing a woman for years? Only a madman like him would do that. Men these days don't even grovel for a day, forget five years. They'd be buried inside some bitch the minute the relationship ends."
I scoffed under my breath, my fingers tightening around the glass in my hand. I lifted it to my lips, taking a sip.
"Don't feel bad for him." My jaw tensed as I looked away from them.
"Don't get me wrong, babe, but when men grovel, it's the hottest thing a woman could see. And right now, with Theon Knight following you around like a puppy," She let out a low whistle. "It's a fucking hot sight, especially since the man is smoking hot."
My mouth hung open in shock. "What the hell, June? Whose side are you on?"
"Of course yours, Ash. I'm just spitting facts—the man's got looks." She threw her hands up in surrender.
I was too pissed to speak, just sat there glaring at her until Trixie jumped in for me. "Did you forget what he did, June?"
June hesitated, eyes flicking to me. "I'm sorry Ash, that's not what I meant —"
"If I didn't know better, I'd think you have the hots for my ex."
June choked on her drink, coughing hard. Trixie quickly poured her some water and patted her back as June gulped it down.
"Are you mad? Of course not. I follow the girl code, we do not fall for each other's man." Her eyes widened.
"He's not my man," I said.
June's throat bobbed. "...Right..."
"Why don't you get a job somewhere else, get away from him? You've got years of experience. I'm sure you could land something way better," Trixie added.
I had been working for this company for a while as their main photographer, and I genuinely loved what I did. Then Theon had to come along and ruin everything. He bought the company and folded it under Knight Industries.
"No. I enjoy what I do, and leaving would make me look weak...which I'm not."
At first, I wanted to resign, but then I stopped and asked myself, why was I the one running away? I loved this job and I wasn't going to give it up just because of him.
"You go girl." Trixie winked.
"Ash..." June whispered. "I'm sorry." She pushed her bottom lip out, her eyes full of guilt.
"It's alright, I know handsome men are your weakness."
She gasped. "You're admitting he is handsome?" She smirked.
I smirked back, leaning into my chair. "No, but his friend sure is."
She blinked, like she'd heard me wrong.
"Who? That arsehole Rowan? In what angle does that bastard look handsome to you?"
Trixie snickered. "I remember one drunken night you asked us girls, if you had to have sex with one of Theon's friends, who would it be. And if I remember correctly, you screamed Rowan,"
I barked out a loud laugh. June's mouth fell open and she blinked a few times, completely baffled.
"I said that?" she whispered, looking both shocked and disgusted.
"Ew...now I feel sick." She gagged.
"Trixx..." I trailed off, giving June a teasing smile. "Didn't we record it? Do you still have the vi—"
"Stop." June said quickly, her palms hitting the table.
"Okay, fine... you got your revenge. Theon is an arsehole and..."
She sighed, her tone turning soft and genuine. "I know what he did, and I'll never forgive him for it. You're stronger than me, Ash. You really are. And I'll hate that guy's guts even if you do forgive him."
My teasing smile softened at her words and something warm settled in my chest. June had always been a little chaotic, but she had always supported me and never abandoned me. Seeing her made me realise how thankful I was to have her.
She slapped her palm on the table, loud enough that me and Trixie both jolted. She leaned in so fast her hair whipped forward. Her eyes were wild and bright.
"Honestly? Rip his balls out." She erupted.
God.
How many drinks did she have?
I scanned the bar. Two people had turned in their seats, staring at us like we'd completely lost our minds.
My cheeks heated; part of me wanted to die, the other part couldn't stop the strangled laugh that tugged at my throat.
"Jesus, June, quiet down." I whispered.
"Just saying what needs saying. Fuck him."
"Oh God." Trixie immediately slapped a hand over her mouth, her shoulders shaking as she tried but failed to hold in her laugh. "You're both insane." I laughed under my breath.
Elle sat behind me, her fingers weaving through my hair. Her breath was brushing the back of my neck as the braid tightened.
"That guy of yours is a menace," she said, tugging my braid.
"Why? Because he climbs through my window instead of using the front door?" I laughed, rubbing the spot she'd tugged.
"Exactly. Who even does that?"
I leaned back a little, relaxing into her touch. "He always has, even when we were kids."
Her hands paused for just a second. I glanced over my shoulder, but before I could say anything, she continued braiding my hair. "There... all done."
I stood up and looked into the mirror. She had given me a French braid, and it looked so good.
"Thanks, Elle. It looks amazing. I can't even do a proper braid on myself." I sat beside her on the bed.
"That's why you have me." she said, bumping her shoulder into mine.
A smile spread across my face. "Yeah. I guess I do."
"So..." She laid on the bed on her side, propping herself up on her elbow.
"Where's your annoying boyfriend at?"
"Hey, he's not that bad." I glared at her playfully.
"I'm kidding, he's great... just sometimes an arse."
I rolled my eyes, but a smile tugged at my lips anyway.
"Such a liar," I smirked. "I know you like him. Everyone does." I lifted my chin. "It's impossible not to when it comes to my Theon. He's just that amazing."
She stuck a finger in her mouth, pretending to gag.
Just then, my bedroom window creaked open.
"Speak of the devil," She muttered under her breath, the corner of her mouth lifting as she watched me.
Theon swung himself into the room with ease, landing with barely a sound. He stood, brushing dust off his jeans.
"You're getting too old for this Romeo act, don't you think?" Elle said, sitting up.
"I could be ninety, and I'd still climb through her window." He flashed a quick smile.
He reached for me, pulling me effortlessly to my feet, his arms sliding around me, pressing a kiss to my temple.
"That's only if you make it to ninety."
He shrugged. "Doesn't matter, as long as I go before Ash."
I gasped and slapped him on the chest. "Don't ever say that, Theon." I glared at him, my eyes burning.
The thought of him leaving me, even as a joke, hurt. I couldn't imagine a life without him."It's true, baby. I know you can live without me, but I won't be able to live without you." His grip tightened around my waist.
"And what if I go before you?"
He froze. His eyes stayed on me, so intense it made my pulse race. "Then I'll kill myself to follow you."
My heart dropped. "What the hell, Theon?" I pushed him back, annoyed.
He laughed deeply, trying to pull me back in, but I slapped his hand away.
"That's not funny."
"Alright, alright." He lifted his hands in surrender. "I won't say it again."
His fingers brushed my braid gently.
"You better not. Death isn't something you joke about, especially when it's you."
I let the breath I'd been holding slip out. "I'd be fucking destroyed if anything ever happened to you."
Theon's expression changed when he saw my face. His hands came up, cupping my cheeks, his thumbs brushing my skin.
"Nothing's gonna happen to me," he said. "And as long as I'm breathing, nothing's touching you either. I swear to God."
His eyes stayed locked on mine for a second before he pulled me in and kissed me hard and deep, like he was sealing that promise with his mouth.
Elle let out a loud groan and flopped back onto the bed. "Jesus Christ, someone get these two a room."
I pulled back from the kiss, suddenly remembering she was still there.
"How about you leave," Theon said casually, sliding his arm around my shoulders and pulling me against his side, "and we'll just use this one instead."
Elle lifted her head and threw a pillow at him. He caught it with one hand and hugged it tight.
"Alright... lovebirds, I'll do the honour of leaving you alone." She stood up, giving a dramatic bow.
"How kind of you," Theon teased. She stuck her tongue out at him, making me laugh.
"I'll see you later, Elle."
She paused as she walked past me toward the door. Her eyes drifted to Theon for a second longer than necessary before returning to me. A small smile touched her lips, though it didn't quite reach her eyes.
"Sure."
I frowned slightly, something about that look sitting strangely with me.
But before I could think about it any further, Theon's arm tightened around me and the thought slipped away.
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